Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Top 5 80's MST3K Movies

Pretty specific list, but the 80's movies that were riffed on by the Mike and the bots were some of the best, possibly because of there were just more possibilities for awfulness. For example, the crappy early computer animation and special effects and garish colors and fashion that defined the decade.

5. Hobgoblins(1988)
This is a pathetic attempt by director/writer/trainwreck Rick Sloane at a "USA Up All Night" style teen sex farce, but with cheap faux Gremlins that make your fantasies come true. Unlike some other movie choices which are just fun and campy, Hobgoblins is such an insult to your intelligence you may end up really hating it. The epitome of this is when our wimpy hero goes at it with his military buddy in a slow motion yard tool fight to prove his manliness to his girlfriend. When he loses, she is shamed, and we're supposed to root for him to prove himself to her. It's one of the more cathartic episodes when Sloane and the movie get ripped apart.

4. Devil Fish (1984)
An Italian movie set in America that really doesn't fool anyone. The plot, courtesy of imdb.com: "A marine biologist, a dolphin trainer, a research scientist, and a local sheriff try to hunt down a large sea monster, a shark/octopus hybrid, that is devouring swimmers and fishermen off a south Florida coast." A ripped electrician/boozey scientist rivalry, mobbed up doctors, and skinny women as the objects of affection once again allow for some hilarious riffing.

3. Overdrawn At the Memory Bank (1983)
A long-winded title for a ridiculous film, this sci-fi comedy(?) made for PBS starring Raul Julia is a disaster. Julia stars as Fingal, an everyman working at a boring future office job who escapes by watching movies, especially Casablanca ("Never show a good movie inside your crappy movie!"). His superiors make him turn into a monkey for his vacation in this crazy distopia, all the while his everyday reality is slowly turning into...wait for it...Casablanca! There's a bad Peter Lorre impersonator, Julia does a better Humphrey Bogart, and it's all pretty fun.

2. Space Mutiny (1988)
Ah, Space Mutiny, it doesn't get much better than this. It's probably the crappiest sci-fi film of the decade, with is "graphics by Kenner," Star Wars cheapo rip-off spaceships, space witches, John Phillip "Pygar" Law as the cackling villain, 20mph chase scenes, football jock protagonist, and scanty workout-suit wearing love interest who is at least fifteen years older than her character. There's too much good stuff to list, though, just see it.

1. The Final Sacrifice (1990)
Yeah, I know this movie was released in 1990, but it must've taken them years to make a movie this epic in scope. We're talking about chunky drifter Zap Rowsdower and dorky but lovable teen Troy McGreggor fighting an evil cult in southwestern Alberta! A lost city and the vampirish cult leader Satoris and grizzled prospectors don't just get filmed overnight. And it's the best episode of MST3K. Period. Bold statement, I know, but take a look at this preview thing. BTW, thanks to all the youtubers for putting these together.